Fall 2023 Edition
Chan Dharma Community
Fall 2023 Edition
A Focus on Practitioners’ Journeys
In cultivating the path as Buddhist practitioners, there is immense value in exploring the diverse journeys that practitioners undertake. Beth Adelman, Brian Pilecki and Cindy Toy, members of the Chan Dharma Community program committee team, have generously volunteered to share their stories. Each of their journeys is a unique tapestry woven from their experiences, perspectives and encounters with the Buddhist teachings. We hope by sharing their stories that you’ll find inspiration, guidance and insights into the various ways one can embark on the transformative journey toward inner peace, wisdom and compassion. By delving into these stories, we gain a deeper appreciation for the richness of the lived experience in engaging with the practice, as well as an understanding that the path is as multifaceted as the human experience itself. In this issue, we invite you to join us in a contemplative exploration of the paths less traveled, as we discover the inspiring stories of practitioners who have trod this spiritual path in their own unique ways.
Beth’s Path:
Like many people, I came to Buddhism through meditation. I’ve been interested in meditation since college, and tried it on and off, but never had a real practice. It always felt like a tool to calm my anxiety, but nothing more. So sometimes I meditated and sometimes I didn’t. About 10 years ago I took a meditation workshop, and the teacher talked some about Buddhism, but for me the workshop was really about learning how to meditate. It still seemed like a tool I pulled out when I needed it.
A few years later, I attended a Western Zen Retreat, with the intention of improving my meditation. The structure of the retreat finally gave me conscious access to all the stories in my head that I use to create myself. And the way Simon Child explained the concepts of Buddhism that had once seemed so extremely unlikely to me—how I generate my own reality, how I have no inherent self—suddenly made sense.
And then my mother got cancer and both our lives started to unravel. I needed a practice to center and steady me. I began to meditate for real. One night at my first Silent Illumination Retreat, Simon summarized the Kalama Sutra, in which the Kalamas ask Buddha which religious teacher they should follow. That’s a question I had long asked myself. I’m an atheist; I can’t just take things on faith. And Buddha told the Kalamas not to do that either.
He said, “Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; nor upon tradition; nor upon rumor; nor upon what is in a scripture . . .” Instead, he advised them to try out what he told them, and see if it benefited them and others and brought more compassion and wisdom to their lives. And then Simon summed up that teaching in a phrase that pierced my heart: “Buddha said, See for yourself.”
On the last night of the retreat, Rebecca Li gave a talk on what it means to Take Refuge in the Three Jewels. I knew what she described was the way I wanted to live my life and the values I believed in. But I didn’t do it then. I wanted to reflect when I wasn’t caught up in the strong feelings of a retreat.
I went home and practiced a lot more seriously, read a lot more books, attended a lot more Dharma talks. After a while, I just asked myself, “Am I a Buddhist?” And then I read a booklet by Master Sheng Yen in which he said, “Trying to learn Buddhism without taking refuge is to be a bystander and not a participant.” And so I took refuge at the Dharma Drum Center in Corona, Queens.
I became a Buddhist because I know the Dharma is true. I know it not through faith but through practice.
Photo of Beth’s practice space at home
Brian’s Path:
My first exposure to Buddhism was in a psychology college course about human personality. The concept of “no-self” was offered as an alternative to the many Western concepts, and it immediately piqued my interest. Later, I experimented with some psychedelics that led to experiences where my sense of self was drastically altered. Looking for ways to help understand these experiences, I began what would become a lifetime pursuit of Buddhist practice.
Initially, I found myself sampling various traditions and practicing at different centers. I gravitated toward Zen, though it was also what was most accessible at the San Francisco Zen Center. A professor warned us against the dangers of dilettantism — while it was okay to try out different contemplative practices, the ultimate goal was to commit to one and follow it deeply. I kept a Zen practice but over the years it gradually began to fall out of favor. Looking back, this was likely because I did not have sufficient community or teachers to sustain my practice. Meditating started to become more of a hindrance than a support, and Zen’s serious vibe fed into my self-critical nature.
I had recently moved back to NYC for my Ph.D. program, and on a whim, I accompanied a friend to Dharma Drum Retreat Center for a weekend retreat. Immediately I fell in love with the Chan approach and the practice of Silent Illumination. While my practice was not serious or regular back then, I kept coming back to the retreat center. Each time I would feel guilty for not practicing well enough, only to hear teachers say, “What wisdom you have to come back to the practice!” I realized that a deep practice requires more than a zafu and a corner of my bedroom. It requires community.
I view it as a great fortune that Rebecca Li was exploring ways to create an online Sangha, and I was invested in cultivating relationships with other practitioners. I began to attend everything she offered. I felt a deep sense of trust and integrity in Rebecca and all the teachers that I had the opportunity to study with. And I met some pretty amazing people who are now my friends.
Eventually, I realized that I needed the community to go deeper into the practice. I needed leadership and someone to guide me when I had questions or my meditation practice began to veer off into unhelpful detours. I needed other practitioners to motivate me, help me stay accountable, and help me establish reasonable expectations about what the practice is and is not. And I needed support and people to turn to when things got hard in my practice, or when life was overwhelming. Ultimately, I learned the most about the practice when personal challenges arose and I was able to turn to the Dharma for guidance. I feel fortunate to have found Buddhism and am inspired to help expand our Sangha and share these wonderful teachings with the world.
Photo of Brian’s practice space while traveling and visiting his family
Cindy’s Path
In the rural village where I grew up in Taiwan, there was a small white Catholic church and an Italian Father. I have fond memories of the Father, who had a hearty laugh and beautiful singing. In high school, my family moved to a big city. I lost connection with the church community and gradually stopped attending church. Even though I am no longer a practicing Catholic, that childhood experience has stayed with me and inspired me to search for spiritual meaning in life.
In 2000, my brother’s son passed away from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome before he was even a year old. My sister-in-law chose a Buddhist service, and it was my first time going to a temple. We purchased a memorial tablet in my nephew’s name for his transcendence to a better future life. The service lasted two days and we followed various rituals of reciting the scriptures, kneeling, prostrating, and chanting. During lunch break, we went up to the altar to look for my nephew’s tablet. Among the many named tablets, I was surprised to see one dedicated to the lonely souls who died alone. I was so consumed in my own sadness that it hadn’t occurred to me to consider others who did not receive care or prayer. I wondered how much more misery and sadness they must have endured. My heart opened up—from experiencing my own pain to feeling the pain of countless others. The unnamed tablet helped me emerge from my cocoon of mourning, and I was motivated to learn more about Buddhism.
Over the next 10 years, I studied sutras and books on and off. Although I was inspired by the teachings of the Masters, I struggled to connect them to my own life. I read about impermanence and no-self many times but it did not change my short temper and bad habits. At that time, there was a lot of tension in my family. My husband and I were constantly fighting. I developed insomnia from the stress. One day, my friend took me to a meditation session at the library. Amazingly, the simple practice of counting my breath stopped the repetitive replaying of events and overanalyzing in my head. Even though I felt physical discomfort, my mind could finally have a break. Afterwards, I slept well for two nights. So, to improve my sleep, I started to meditate, and that led to taking Dharma classes at a Buddhist Center.
Meditation has also helped me deepen my connection to Buddhist teachings. It was no longer high-level philosophical theories that I couldn’t apply. I started to change my interactions with my family. I slowly let go of the urge to control them, and they no longer resisted or acted in defiance. We became more comfortable to openly share our struggles, without fear of criticism. Now, my whole family comes to the Buddhist Center to practice together. I’m grateful for all the causes and conditions that led me to the path—even the painful ones.
Photo of Cindy’s practice space while her home is undergoing renovations
Chan Dharma Community
Practice Opportunities
Monthly Online Dharma Study Course with Rebecca Li
2nd Wednesday of the month from December 13, 2023 - May 8, 2024
Practitioners meet on Zoom on the second Wednesday of the month from December 2023 to May 2024 to share their reflections on the month’s theme based on a Dharma talk given by Rebecca Li. The topic of this year’s course is “Bodhisattva Vows.” An invitation to register for the course has been sent out by email. Please register by Nov. 10, 2023.
Weekly Sitting Meditation
Monday Mornings, 7:00 to 7:25 AM ET
The Monday morning session includes light neck stretches, recitation of the Four Great Vows, and a 20-minute sitting session.
Thursday Evenings, 9:00 to 9:45 PM ET
The Thursday evening session includes light neck stretches, recitation of the Four Great Vows, a 30-minute sitting period, and an optional brief sharing period.
*The weekly meditation sessions are intended for Chan Dharma Community members who have practiced with Rebecca Li. All levels of experience are welcome.
Online Sangha Friends Gathering
4th Wednesday of every month
Join us on the fourth Wednesday of every month for an unstructured gathering where we can check in with one another, talk about whatever has come up in the past month, support one another, and stay in touch as a sangha. Each gathering will begin with 10 minutes of meditation, and then everyone will check in and share, and discuss what comes up.
Please contact us if you would like more information about the programs or to be added to the contact list for the Sangha Friends Gathering.
Stay in Touch
Chan Dharma Community Links
Rebecca Li
Talks, Retreats, and Other Opportunities
2023 Workshops & Talks:
November 12 (Sun) // 9 AM to 12 PM ET (In person)
Meditation Workshop and Dharma Talk (DDMBA-NJ Chapter), Edison, NJ
November 20 (Mon) // 7 PM to 9 PM ET (In person)
Meditation and Dharma Talk (Buddhist Sangha of Bucks County), Yardley, PA
December 14 (Thu) // 1-1:45 PM ET (In person)
Mindfulness Meditation Workshop (Rubin Museum of Arts)
2024 Retreats & Talks:
January 23 (Tue) // 7-8 PM ET (In person)
Author’s Event for Illumination: A Guide to the Buddhist Method of No-Method (Watchung Booksellers, Montclair, NJ)
March 8-10 (Fri-Sun, In person)
Three-Day Chan Retreat (Dharma Drum Mountain San Francisco Bay Area Center)
April 19-21 (Fri-Sun, In person)
Foundation Retreat (Dharma Drum Retreat Center (DDRC), Pine Bush, NY
May 25 to June 1 (Sat-Sat, In person)
Intensive Silent Illumination Retreat (Dharma Drum Retreat Center (DDRC), Pine Bush, NY
June 11 to 16 (Tue-Sun, In person)
Silent Illumination Retreat (Great Vow Zen Monastery, Oregon)
August 23-25 (Fri-Sun, In person)
Beginner’s Mind Retreat (Dharma Drum Retreat Center (DDRC), Pine Bush, NY
October 6-11 (Fri- Wed, In person)
Western Zen Retreat (with Simon Child; at Dharma Drum Retreat Center (DDRC), Pine Bush, NY)
For more info about Rebecca’s teachings, please click on the button below
Books by Rebecca Li
Allow Joy into Our Hearts: Chan Practice in Uncertain Times
Available now on: Indiebound, Kobo, Barnes & Noble and Amazon
“The world is blessing us with many opportunities to practice. We have much to be grateful for indeed.”
— Rebecca Li
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