Inaugural 2023 Summer Edition
Dear Chan Dharma Community,
I hope you are all enjoying your summer! I'm writing to you from Hong Kong, and it's been wonderful to spend some time with my family. I'm thrilled to share some wonderful news with you. After much planning and hard work, we are launching an exciting new community newsletter series that aims to support our practice, bring us all closer together, and share resources. Below you'll find the inaugural issue, and we hope to publish this every quarter via email and post on the Chan Dharma Community website. We hope to fill the publication with engaging content, inspiring stories & images, and important event or announcements. I also want to send a special thank you to Lee Harrison and Beth Adelman for putting together this first issue.
Your input and feedback are invaluable to us, and we encourage you to share any ideas or suggestions you may have for future editions — please see the link at the end of the newsletter to complete a simple survey. Together, we can make this newsletter a true reflection of our vibrant and supportive community.
I hope you enjoy the newsletter and may it be of benefit to your practice.
Warmly,
Rebecca
Chan Dharma Community
News & Updates
2022-2023 Online Dharma Study Course
In May, a group of practitioners completed Rebecca Li’s fifth annual Online Dharma Study Course with a focus on Compassion. In a series of talks, Rebecca Li provided explanation and instruction on metta loving-kindness as a technique for cultivating compassion as a Chan practitioner. Students spent the month practicing with each talk before gathering online to share reflections, engage in discussion, and hear Rebecca Li answer questions that came up during practice.
In the final session, students practiced with Rebecca Li’s talk on Cultivating Appreciative Joy as a Chan Practitioner. During the period when students shared reflections and engaged in discussion on the challenges of cultivating compassion and appreciative joy, a question emerged about how to establish a healthy sense of self, and how to balance that with the Chan practice of letting go of self-attachment. Rebecca’s answer is below.
The talks from this year’s Online Dharma Study Course, along with some prior years, are now available under the “Teachings” tab on the Chan Dharma Community website.
“You will find in Master Sheng Yen’s teaching that before we let go of ourselves, we need to go through the process of really getting to know ourselves, to really establish a healthy sense of self.
Usually people don’t have trouble having a sense of self, but whether it’s a healthy sense of self is the question. Because usually our sense of self is a distorted view of self. Either it’s a kind of distortion that’s in the direction of just very vaguely being over-confident—I’m so awesome, I’m so amazing—and there are some people who just have no trouble only seeing the good side of themselves and not seeing anything, any part of their weakness. Then there are people who have a distorted sense of self that’s the opposite. All they see is their imperfections. All they see is the things that they can’t do, their failures, or the things that in different ways didn’t meet other peoples’ expectations. They completely dismiss all the things that they have accomplished. Both of them are not a healthy sense of self in the sense that they are distortions. The latter kind tend to be common among practitioners because there is this confusion with feeling unworthy, feeling inferior, feeling inadequate, and confusing that with humility. That’s not humility. That is a form of self-centered attachment, the habit of insisting on identifying with a particular distorted view of who we are, a distorted view that is just filled with our moments of making mistakes. There are moments when we make mistakes and then there are all these other moments when we don’t make mistakes; and then there are other moments when we make mistakes, and then there are all these moments when we are doing good work. And we insist on only focusing on the few moments when we make mistakes, and say that’s me! That is the self-centered attachment. We created this idea of who we are by putting together these moments. It’s like a mosaic of all these different moments of mistakes, and then insisting that’s me. And when someone says no, you’re not as bad as you think you are, you just refuse to listen to them. You get mad at them that they are saying you’re not as bad as you are. That is not a healthy sense of self. That is vexation that causes suffering to yourself, and then you can see how very often these vexations that cause suffering to ourselves also turn into actions and we inflict suffering on others.
So when in the practice we talk about letting go of self-centered attachment, this is one of the most misunderstood parts of the teaching. It’s like, oh, okay, the self is bad. That’s what I’m hearing, The self is bad. Get rid of self, get rid of self! It’s like hate the self, hate the self and get rid of it! No, that is not what we are talking about at all. But you’ll be surprised by how common this misunderstanding is, this erroneous view, because it is perpetuating our existing, entrenched habitual tendency of reacting to the present moment with aversion, with vexation. We are busy looking for an enemy to hate. So, before we practice there are other things we hate and then we come to practice and we hear, self is bad; okay, hate the self!, hate the self!, get rid of the self, get rid of the self, and we get hung up on the pain of getting rid of the self.
We are not here to get rid of the self. The self fulfills an important function in our daily lives. If there is no self, who is going to pay your bills and take out your garbage, and go to work, and look after your family members? What we are letting go of in Chan practice is the misguided understanding of the self as an independent, inherently existing entity. When we attach to an idea of who we are as an entity that’s fixed, that is the habit of self-centered attachment. That is what we are learning to release. What we are unlearning, releasing, letting go of in our practice is this very, very, very entrenched habit of latching on to some idea of ourselves that has some kind of fixed characteristic. So what we are doing in the practice of cultivating total clear awareness moment to moment is to recognize first that yes, that’s what we’re doing. How am I doing this? Moment to moment to moment. When you recognize that oh yeah, I do that—very good! Very good, you are allowing yourself to see that. But how do I do this? How does it show up? How does it manifest in my way of going about creating suffering? And that is a very important step. And for many people they are very unwilling to engage because it’s too difficult to confront the fact that we suffer, that we create our suffering, because we are so invested, especially when we are Dharma practitioners—okay, we are not supposed to be attached. I am not supposed to have self-centered attachment. Got it. Okay, I’m not supposed to be doing it. And to go and see that oh, I’m doing it—I flunked. I got an F. We don’t want it.
No, it’s not failure, it’s clarity. That means you are practicing well. The more you can see your self-centered attachment, the more that means you are actually practicing. When you don’t see it, that means you are not practicing. That’s it.
First is the need to change your way of thinking about it, and then you can see the many different ways this entrenched habit of self-centered attachment shows up. In a way, in this course, they are just different ways of showing up—can’t feel happy for someone, cannot be unconditionally kind to ourselves, to others—they are just different ways of attaching to our idea of what is supposed to be happening, to our idea of who we are, rather than just being here with what is as it is. It’s already happening. We just want to get in our way of allowing what is happening to be fully experienced as it is. So, figure out how we get in our way so that we can unlearn the habit of obstructing ourselves. I hope this clarifies a little bit about the practice of cultivating a healthy sense of self, and also at the same time, letting go of self-centered attachment. Actually, it is while we release the habit of self-centered attachment that we can develop a healthy sense of self through which we function in life.”
—from Rebecca Li’s discourse on self and self-attachment in the final session of the Online Dharma Study Course.
Participant Reflections
from the Online Dharma Study Course
“I am grateful to be part of this group. For the past six months, I learned self-compassion and [how to] allow myself to feel what I feel. I found that once we can see our suffering, we have a chance to choose not to continue.” —Shao-Pei Chou
“From these past 6 months, a major takeaway and recurring theme has been opening up to rather than resisting thoughts and emotions; letting go of resistance, letting go of what we think we SHOULD be, how we SHOULD think and feel, and embracing learning about who I am as the path to letting go of self-centered attachment and suffering. I will continue practicing with that. Thank you again! Thank you Rebecca!” —Maksim Tabachnik
“This group has brought me so much joy. Thank you, Rebecca, and thank you to the entire group for making this beautiful experience of learning and growth. I have learned many amazing things, but most importantly I have learned how to start loving myself, love and appreciate those around me, and integrate the cultivation of compassion in every aspect of life. Thank you!” —Caroline McFarland
“Thank you Rebecca so much for helping me understand myself better, and for pushing me to continue with my practice. I do see quite a bit of progress but am also more aware of how much suffering I still cause myself. The Most important thing I've learned over the course is to be kind and compassionate with myself, to do my best at staying present and be aware of my self-centered attachment. Your parting words tonight were very inspiring in a variety of ways. We really must continue to work at getting to know ourselves, to recognize what our wants & aspirations are. Will miss everyone for next several months!!” —Joe Beck
“This course has shown me that compassion is not about being soft and easy on myself and others. It’s really such an antidote and supports the release [of] suffering. It’s amazing that no matter how many times I hear these phrases, I discover something new, or correct an erroneous understanding.” —Annie Chiu-McCabe
Chan Dharma Community
Practice Opportunities
Weekly Sitting Meditation
Monday mornings, 7:00 to 7:25am EST
The Monday morning session includes light neck stretches, recitation of the Four Great Vows, and a 20-minute sitting session.
Thursday Evenings, 9:00 to 9:45pm EST
The Thursday evening session includes light neck stretches, recitation of the Four Great Vows, a 30-minute sitting period, and an optional brief sharing period.
The weekly meditation sessions are intended for Chan Dharma Community members who have practiced with Rebecca Li. All levels of experience are welcome. For more information on weekly sitting, contact us here.
Online Sangha Friends Gathering
Join us on the fourth Wednesday of every month for an unstructured gathering where we can check in with one another, talk about whatever has come up in the past month, support one another, and stay in touch as a sangha. Each gathering will begin with 10 minutes of meditation, and then everyone will check in and share, and discuss what comes up.
Please contact us if you would like to to be added to the contact list for the Sangha Friends Gathering.
One Day Online Retreat
The next One Day Online Retreat led by Rebecca Li is scheduled for September 23rd. Watch for emails in the next few weeks, or the Program page of the Chan Dharma Community website, for more information about how to sign up.
Stay in Touch
Chan Dharma Community Links
Rebecca Li
Talks, Retreats, and Other Opportunities
August 4-7 (In person)
Four-Day Chan Retreat (Dharma Drum Vancouver Center)
August 25-27 (Fri-Sun) (In person)
Beginner’s Mind Retreat (Dharma Drum Retreat Center (DDRC)), 184 Quannacut Road, Pine Bush, NY
September 10 (Sun) 9 am to noon (In person)
Meditation Workshop and Dharma Talk (DDMBA-NJ Chapter), Edison, NJ
October 6-11 (Fri- Wed) (In person)
Western Zen Retreat (with Simon Child; at Dharma Drum Retreat Center (DDRC)), 184 Quannacut Road, Pine Bush, NY
November 12 (Sun) 9 am to noon (In person)
Meditation Workshop and Dharma Talk (DDMBA-NJ Chapter), Edison, NJ
December 14 (Thu) 1-1:45 pm E.T. (In person)
Mindfulness Meditation Workshop (Rubin Museum of Arts)
Books by Rebecca Li
Allow Joy into Our Hearts: Chan Practice in Uncertain Times
Available now on: Indiebound, Kobo, Barnes & Noble and Amazon
Illumination: A Guide to the Buddhist Method of No-Method
“The world is blessing us with many opportunities to practice. We have much to be grateful for indeed.”
— Rebecca Li
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